When we’re chasing our dreams, all the turbulence we face shouldn’t scare us into pulling back….The shaking, jerking, and rattling in our lives are telling us we’re getting close to the breakthrough.
-Bob Goff, Live in Grace, Walk in Love, p. 4
I planned to title this post, “Waiting for the blessing.” Because I feel like that’s the space I’m occupying right now: slowly coming to trust that God’s love and goodness and kindness look like what I can recognize as love and goodness and kindness, not as inscrutable, incomprehensible versions of those qualities that look and feel more like cruelty and sadism and punishment. That I can trust in God’s promises. That God loves me. That God’s love defines me.
And that if I watch, if I keep my eyes open, if I look for it, I’m going to see God do something great, something new, something amazing in my life.
I am waiting for the blessing. I am hoping for it; I am expecting it. And I am coming to understand, from so many of the writers I’ve read lately, that the doubts and fears and what-ifs and trepidation are themselves signs that the blessing is on its way. I’m looking for lessons in the struggle.
Today I woke up to a text from a friend, who sent me this:
Later in the day, I spent time searching for signs of spring. I remember doing this every year in the early school grades: Our teachers would take the class for a walk and ask us to point out anything we noticed that let us know spring was on its way.
I saw a bird’s nest:
And tadpoles (the big one in the mud — visible between the other two — is a bullfrog tadpole, I think):
And a lot of branches that look bare until you peer closely at them, when you can see the first traces of buds:
And, because this is the South, the ubiquitous magnolia blossoms:
So I’m waiting but I’m not only waiting, and that’s why I changed the title of this post. I’m looking around. I’m seeing the first signs that change is happening, that the process has not only started but is advanced enough to become visible.
I am choosing to believe that spring is arriving — within as well as around my life.
How can God say one thing but the circumstances of your life say otherwise?
Often, before you reach your destiny, you will experience the opposite of what you want. Not only that, but sometimes you will be tested right before you turn the corner to receive what God has promised.
-Jentezen Franklin, Love Like You’ve Never Been Hurt, 119