Today is my birthday. That’s actually kind of hard to say, because I hate birthdays. Many of them have been awful. I won’t go through the litany of stuff that’s happened, because in the grand scheme of human horrors, it feels self-indulgent to whine about shitty birthdays. But since I was a kid, birthdays haveContinue reading “Visibility”
Category Archives: Identity
Not alone
Last weekend, someone spoke an ugliness into my life that devastated me. It came without warning or context or escalation. I don’t know if the words exploded from festering malice or a skewed sense of humor. I don’t know whether they were aimed at me personally, for something I did or for who I am,Continue reading “Not alone”
Boundaries and obsession
This weekend, a man contacted me through a dating app. After I skimmed his profile, I was 99% sure I wasn’t interested, but I decided to continue the conversation just to see what happened. I do that sometimes, on the off chance someone pleasantly surprises me. So far they haven’t, but I’ve ended up withContinue reading “Boundaries and obsession”
Not-so-small gifts
I think the term “miracle” is overused, so I’m not going to call what’s unfolded since Friday a miracle. But I am going to acknowledge all of it, gratefully, as a series of gifts that I badly needed. For months now, since even before COVID-19, I’ve been feeling like I couldn’t stand any more hits,Continue reading “Not-so-small gifts”
The fun factor
For reasons I don’t even want to delve into, lately I’ve had this urge to listen to boy bands while I grade. Normally I favor dark ambient melodies that evoke haunted castles in Romania, so this is very unlike me. A few nights ago, the five-part harmony suddenly got me waxing all nostalgic, so IContinue reading “The fun factor”
Loneliness
I had an epic meltdown last night. Over shoes. Since I’m planning to move in May, I’ve started sorting through my things. I have lived here for six years — my longest time at one address since I left my parents’ home at age 18 — and while I do semi-regular purges, I also tendContinue reading “Loneliness”
On not being a mother
Last night I attended a virtual discussion between two women, both professors, about the creative body of work one of them had produced. Apparently her latest effort is concerned with female bodies, with the experiences of embodiment, so naturally the talk turned to motherhood. As a unique part of women’s embodiment. As a rite ofContinue reading “On not being a mother”
In which I encounter a unicorn, part 5
Read Part 4. What made you stand out as unique might be the thing God wants to use to show what He looks like to the rest of the world. What people used to tear you down is something God wants to use to build you up.-Bob Goff, Live in Grace, Walk in Love, 19Continue reading “In which I encounter a unicorn, part 5”
In which I encounter a unicorn, part 4
Read Part 3. God has named us and claimed us as God’s own. But almost immediately, other things try to tell us who we are and to whom we belong….We are tempted to doubt our innate value precisely to the degree that we are insecure about our identity from, and our relationship to, God.-Nadia Bolz-Weber,Continue reading “In which I encounter a unicorn, part 4”
In which I encounter a unicorn, part 3
Read Part 2. When we’re most innocent and vulnerable, we sometimes latch on to the worst labels, then carry them with us wherever we go. These aren’t labels others gave us in jest, they’re the names we give ourselves through our pain….When you find yourself calling yourself by a name that just isn’t true, rememberContinue reading “In which I encounter a unicorn, part 3”
Fiercely Loved 