Easter two years ago marked a very low point for me. I felt abandoned, lonely, and more isolated than I ever had (which is saying a lot, because even though I have been blessed with some incredible friends, I’ve also spent most of my life feeling like I don’t quite fit anywhere). The months beforeContinue reading “Easter reflections”
Category Archives: Love
A blessing
A few weeks ago something happened that I didn’t write about immediately, for several reasons. But now I want to share it, not least so I can remind myself. As I drove down the highway that afternoon, enjoying the lush greenness of the grass and trees, savoring the brilliant blue sky, singing at the topContinue reading “A blessing”
Broken Open
A lot of hard things have happened over the past two weeks, and while it would be untrue to say nothing good has occurred in my life (that would be the height of ingratitude to the friend who spent two Saturdays helping me pack books!) nothing unexpectedly good has happened. It started with my birthday.Continue reading “Broken Open”
Visibility
Today is my birthday. That’s actually kind of hard to say, because I hate birthdays. Many of them have been awful. I won’t go through the litany of stuff that’s happened, because in the grand scheme of human horrors, it feels self-indulgent to whine about shitty birthdays. But since I was a kid, birthdays haveContinue reading “Visibility”
Rethinking submission
I got back to Georgia last weekend (thanks to my father, who drove the whole way). After dropping my dad off at his hotel near the airport, I stopped at the grocery store — where I was appalled by the number of unmasked people aggressively intruding into others’ personal space. By the time I gotContinue reading “Rethinking submission”
Connections
In the past two days, I have had two delightful conversations with women who both apologized for “bending my ear” or “talking too much.” The apologies were so unnecessary that I felt sad that the speakers even voiced them: I enjoyed both conversations very much and was grateful for these strangers, who took time outContinue reading “Connections”
Boundaries and obsession
This weekend, a man contacted me through a dating app. After I skimmed his profile, I was 99% sure I wasn’t interested, but I decided to continue the conversation just to see what happened. I do that sometimes, on the off chance someone pleasantly surprises me. So far they haven’t, but I’ve ended up withContinue reading “Boundaries and obsession”
Redemption
In the quiet space at the end of daylight yesterday, I wondered why I still hurt so badly — will it never stop? — and felt so angry and hopeless. What could possibly soothe my soul? Why is nothing ever enough? I sat at a picnic table between two rosebushes, breathed air that carried theirContinue reading “Redemption”
Good Friday in lockdown
Yesterday, a friend again talked about how the right books find us at the right times. I’ve always felt guilty for buying books that I didn’t immediately read, but he doesn’t; he says they call to him when he needs them most or is most receptive to what they have to say. (And this isContinue reading “Good Friday in lockdown”
The view from down here
Yesterday I was walking through the woods when a butterfly caught my eye. I wish I could tell you what kind it was; it looked like a yellow monarch. It fluttered ahead of and above me, and I stopped to watch it. Which is why I looked up. Up into the trees that surrounded me.Continue reading “The view from down here”
Fiercely Loved 